I am the chief editor of Organic Lifestyle Magazine. And I’m fat. I am not fat like I used to be. At my peak I weighed 368 pounds with a 56 inch waist. I was a big boy back in the day. I was 17 when I started losing weight. I didn’t do it right, but I had great motivation. I wanted to get laid. Julie was my motivation. She was gorgeous, and way, way out of my league, and I knew I would have to get in shape to have her.

The first time I saw Julie I was the fattest I had ever been. Then I started exercising like crazy and I followed the food pyramid diet. I felt like crap half the time but teenage hormones and the desire to lose my virginity were my fuel.

How I Lost the Weight

I was weightlifting five days a week, I played basketball for ninety minutes a day and ran 6 miles a week once a week. Can you imagine a guy as out of shape as I was playing basketball for ninety minutes without sitting out a game? Like I said, I was motivated.

When I was around twenty-four I ballooned back up to 280 pounds. I was with a woman who was a bit of a chubby chaser who loved to eat and never seemed to gain a pound herself. I fed her and fed myself. We ate. I got fat. She didn’t mind at all. I didn’t even notice.

How I Lost the Weight the Second Time

I lost that weight when I was incarcerated for 18 months for a crime I did not commit. I came out at 210 pounds. In jail we were not allowed to run but I had a workout group that went up and down the stairs repeatedly, did bodyweight exercises, and we made water weights out of trash bags and weightlifted. In prison I ran, played basketball, and used 110 pound floor buffers tied together to make 220 pound free weights for squats and bench.

I am six feet three inches. Right now I weigh 220 pounds. I am stronger than the average person, I can do around 15 chinups, 45 pushups, and I squat 255 and deadlift 345. I can run a few miles and I can ride a bicycle at least 100 miles on level ground.

I’m in decent shape, but nowhere near where I want to be. I want to be the kind of fit that you would expect a health nut to be in. I want a six pack. I want to squat 400 pounds. I want to be able to do more than 100 pushups and more than 50 pullups. I want to be able to complete a hot power yoga class. I want to be able to realistically consider doing a triathlon.

But I’m fat. If I weighed 180 pounds I would have no fat. That means I have 40 pounds of blubber.

Loose Skin

Plus, since I used to be so overweight I have loose skin. Actually, I don’t have loose skin. I have lots of empty fat cells. I have loose fat.

It is a common misconception that people that lost some weight have loose skin. You may, but if you eat right and you are healthy your skin should tighten up. The problem is that when fat is burned it’s not burned like layers being stripped away. It can be kind of random. Imagine a honeycomb, with each cell being filled with fat. A cell here, and a cell there gets burned as you exercise.

Six Pack

The way you get the six pack, the rock hard abs, the tight skin, is to get your body fat very low, like under 7%. Then, if you want to be a little fluffier, a little softer, you can add more fat, and it is added in tight layers as opposed to the flabby jelly I have now.

So here it is. My “before” picture, which is current as of this post, 10/27/2011, here below.

I’m embarrassed. I’ll probably get a bunch of comments that say, “Hey man, don’t be embarrassed…” and I’ll get a few that say, “You should be embarrassed…” But I’m embarrassed. I’ve let this go too long. I want my rock hard abs. I want to be lean. I want to be stronger. I want to be in shape. I want to take off my shirt and impress people.

So I’m putting it out there. I will get in shape. The holidays are going to be tough. I do love to eat! On the next update. I will also tell you all what I am doing and how I am doing it.

My Goals

• Bench 300 pounds
• Squat 400 pounds
• Deadlift 500 pounds
• 50 pullups
• 100 pushups
• 34 inch waist
• 6% body fat
• Visible six pack

I will achieve my goals with weightlifting and High Intensity Interval Training and cardio. I will also add bicycles and yoga when I get closer to my goals.

If you are looking to get in better physical condition, leave your goals and plan of action as a comment below!

At OLM we believe that knowledge is power, and transparency is the key to emotional and spiritual human evolution. This is why we love WikiLeaks. We as a society will not learn from our mistakes when we hide them. We as a society will not grow spiritually if we do not learn from our mistakes. Humans will continue to be at war as long as we continue to hide truth.

WikiLeaks follows this philosophy. They believe the government should work for us. They believe in transparency. They believe in accountability. And we love what they are doing. And we understand the fight they are going through.

I buy most of my groceries from DeKalb Farmer’s Market. I also like to shop at local, smaller farmer’s markets as well, but their hours tend to be limited and difficult for me to shop there. Living in the city of Atlanta provides a lot of good choices for fresh and organic produce.

But there are no farmer’s markets close to where I live. There are a few supermarkets within walking distance. Whole Foods, Kroger, and Publix are the three close to me. Every now and then (like this morning) I get hungry before Whole Foods opens. I woke up at 4 a.m. this morning famished after a day of extremely intense physical activity and I wanted breakfast. In fact, I think, after only 4 hours of sleep hunger is what woke me up. I felt like my stomach was about to start eating itself. So I went to Kroger because they are open 24 hours a day.

When I go grocery shopping for the week my diet mainly consists of salads (to see an example of the kind of salads I eat once or twice a day, check out the 80% raw article). I only had a few dollars to spend so I went straight for the produce. I bought three oranges and two apples, a red bell pepper, and a kiwi. This was my breakfast. They were all organic.

It was not pleasant eating this food. Don’t get me wrong, yesterday I bought two apples, two oranges, and an heirloom tomato at Whole Foods and loved them. I ate them in one sitting right before my martial arts class. I absolutely love fruits and vegetables. But every single time I buy any produce at any of the conventional grocery stores the food tastes empty. It’s a chore to eat this produce.

I understand why so many people don’t like fruits and vegetables. I understand why getting a child to eat their vegetables’ is futile power struggle. It’s because most of the produce we purchase in this country looks good on the shelves, but is void of nutrition and consequently, void of taste!

The produce I bought at Kroger was organic. But it was organic produce that was produced by a huge farm that probably produces organic food almost exactly like they produce conventional food. And the produce was probably weeks old. It was bland and hard to eat. I could have as easily swallowed cardboard or Styrofoam. My mouth was getting tired from chewing, but I could barely produce enough saliva to swallow this food that my body didn’t seem to want any more than my taste buds did.

If you are looking to start eating healthy and are looking to incorporate more raw fresh fruits and vegetables into your diet, you must find a farmer’s market or a grocery store that prides itself in quality produce. If you need help locating a farmer’s market, check out Local Harvest.

And grow as much of your own food as you can! If you’re just getting started with growing your own food, Mike Liebermam’s Urban Organic Gardener is a blog you must follow, especially if you have limited space and/or a limited budget.

I feel sorry for anyone who does not have access to good produce. I can’t imagine living the way I do and eating the way I do with the kind of crap I bought this morning.

It hits me every now and then. It hits me hard. It’s debilitating. I used to smoke, drink, and eat way too much and sleep all day when I felt this way. Now I tend to watch too much TV and procrastinate and sleep all day. I cannot get anything done when I am like this. I get angry at myself. I hate this. I feel weak. I feel like I need help, yet that is the last thing I want. If I am honest, I hate feeling this way, yet I want to feel this way right now.

People are going to read this. I’m publishing this on my website. That scares me. I consider myself almost fearless, but admitting any weakness scares me. It’s not because I am one of those tough guys who refuses to admit when they are hurt or need help. It’s because I used to be a wuss who always needed help and always got hurt. And I fixed that about me. I changed. And now if I am hurt or need help, I have learned to fix myself.

But sometimes depression hits me before I even know it is coming. If I know it’s coming, I can take steps to prevent it. Once it hits me, the steps are the same, and I still know what to do, but I don’t want to do it.

Right now I want to lay in bed and sleep. I do not want to be writing this article. I do not want to admit my weakness. I do not want to feel better. I do not want a bunch of sympathy. I do not want a bunch of suggestions. I want everyone to fuck off and leave me alone.

When I was in a relationship, it was easier. I had to get over depression fast when I was in a relationship because I had to set an example. I had to be the man.

When I felt bad I would usually make my girlfriend feel good. It made me feel better. Of course, more than once I was an asshole about it. I sometimes took it all out on her, then convinced her that it was all her fault, and then apologized, and then we both felt better.

I hope I never do that again.

But now that I am single, I am alone with my thoughts.

I just made a lot of commitments with this magazine, and I have to keep moving. I don’t have time to wallow. I don’t have time to do what I have done in the past, which is to just accept the fact that I am “in a funk,” feel what I feel, and know that I will get over it.

I am prone to depression. I’ve been through a lot and sometimes memories make life hard. I am writing a book about it (or I should say I am trying to write a book about it) and it messes me up. But I always get over it because I know what to do.

1. I exercise. Sometimes I don’t feel like I can move a pound, but I do it anyway. It’s so difficult to work out when I’m depressed. But I go to the gym, I take my time, and I move my body and I move weight. I turn my desire to self destruct into a desire to hurt myself via physical exertion.
2. I exercise. Sometimes I don’t feel like I can move a pound, but I do it anyway. It’s so difficult to work out when I’m depressed. But I go to the gym, I take my time, and I move my body and I move weight. I turn my desire to self destruct into a desire to hurt myself via physical exertion.
3. I make sure I get enough B vitamins. And I don’t do stupid things like go out drinking which wipes out my B vitamins and exacerbates the problem. (Please ignore the fact that I did this last night.)
4. I get enough healthy fats, which are needed to process B vitamins.
5. I make sure my diet is clean, even though I do crave junk food when I am depressed.
6. I get sunlight. I sunbathe. I don’t use sunscreen. If it’s cloudy I will take vitamin D.
7. I get grounded. I connect with the earth. I put my bare feet on the ground. I walk. I sit. I smell.
8. I focus on the little things and on the interesting.
9. I stay in the moment. There are no problems in the moment.
10. I clean up. My home represents how I feel. So does my appearance. I clean myself up and I clean my home.

But I don’t feel like doing any of this right now. I don’t give a damn. I just want to feel depressed and be angry at myself for being depressed. I want to hurt. I’d like to get in the ring with someone and either beat the crap out of them or get the crap beat out of me. Either one would be good. That would be worth getting out of bed for.

But I don’t have that option.

Normally, I would give it a day or two, feel how I feel, and then start doing the list whether I wanted to or not.

I don’t have time to just let this pass. I don’t have a couple of days to feel depressed and do nothing.

So I am putting this out there. I am publishing this for all of my friends, family, and magazine readers to see. And After I publish this I am going to go running at 12am. Then I am going to get a bunch of work done no matter how hard it is. Because there is one character trait I have developed throughout my life that has helped me in many situations and will help me here. I cannot admit that I have a problem without deciding to fix it. I cannot admit that I have a weakness without choosing to strengthen myself. I cannot write this article, publish it on the website for the world to see, and then go back to bed.

I don’t know if this will help anyone. It is certainly written more for me than anyone else. But I have an idea. To insure that this article could help people, I propose that readers comment below and tell us how they deal with depression.

What do you do? Maybe you feel a little down and you know just what to do to cheer yourself up. Or maybe you suffer from clinical, debilitating depression and it is a constant battle in your life, and you know a few things that help.

Now I am going to go running. Damn. I really just want to go back to bed.

Recommended Supplements:

• B-Complex #6  – Thorne Research
• Omega-D3 – Nordic Naturals
• Shillington’s Total Nutrition Formula

Further Reading:

• Natural Remedies for Depression
• How I Overcame Depression Naturally
• Mental Health, Physical Health & B Vitamins – Nature’s Valium
• Alleviate Depression Naturally
• How Candida Leads to Depression, Anxiety, ADHD, and Other Mental Disorders
• Vitamin B6 and What You Should Know About it
• How I Overcame-Depression Naturally
• The Power of Our Hormones and How To Balance Them

I have never understood why anyone would buy into the belief system that nuclear energy is clean, unless invisible but deadly contamination doesn’t count.

Before recent events in Japan reminded us of the global threat of radiation due to a meltdown or any other release of radioactive material into the atmosphere, we knew nuclear energy wasn’t green or clean. How could it be when radioactive waste takes tens of thousands of years to decay to safe levels?

Now, with the crisis in Japan, Americans are once again speaking out about the safety of nuclear energy. And the White House is talking back.

White House spokesman, Jay Carney made it clear that President Obama, who has proposed $36 billion in loan guarantees for nuclear power, has no plans to change his policy.

We find it ludicrous that low CO2 emissions and clean nuclear energy are synonymous when talking about nuclear energy.

Alex Flint of the Nuclear Regulatory Agency said in a Fox News interview that the United States is “best in class” at anticipating and preparing for unlikely events, especially since 9/11. While doing his best not to suggest the Japanese were not lax or inept in preparedness, he suggests we are more prepared and will learn from their mistakes as well. But the truth is we currently have 104 nuclear power plants in operation in the United States and many of them are on coastlines or fault lines. When scientists say the San Onofre nuclear power plant in California was built to withstand a 7.0 earthquake, which is sufficient based on their study of the seismic activity in the area, along with its thirty foot tsunami wall, forgive me if I have my doubts that all is well and perfectly safe. I can’t help but think about New Orleans. The levees, built by the Army Corps of Engineers, failed when Katrina, a level 3 hurricane, reached the shore. American superiority? Best in class, my ass.

The Japanese are well trained, well prepared, and they knew they were living on fault lines with the threat of tsunamis. After an earthquake measuring 9.0 on the Richter scale and a massive tsunami, their preparations failed. At the time of this writing, they are facing not one, but possibly three meltdowns. There have been three explosions, which have released radiation into the atmosphere.

And one important consideration to remember is this: once released, that radiation cannot be contained. How many of Japan’s downwind neighbors will be affected by the fallout?

From the 1890s through 1910, thousands of Americans used solar water heaters to heat water for their homes.

Out with the Old and In with the New

I was doing research for an article on alternative energy when I discovered an interesting fact. From the 1890s through 1910, thousands of Americans used solar water heaters to heat water for their homes. But as soon as natural gas became available, as a relatively cheap, new alternative, solar systems were abandoned.

Now, a century later, we are investing our time and money into solar technology. Why did we have to wait so long? What if we’d been improving the technology for the last hundred years? How far would we have come?

And then, I thought about western medicine.  We turned our backs on centuries of wisdom. Eastern medicine was discounted as foolishness. Home remedies used for generations were labeled as dangerous or ineffective. Again, something new—antibiotics—replaced the old.

What about food? Modern agriculture? The “green revolution,” using synthetic fertilizers, pesticides, and herbicides, did indeed increase yields. But at what cost? For thousands of years we replenished the soil with manure and compost. But the new method replaced the old. And now our fields, the lifeblood of our crops, are stripped of nutrients and contaminated with poisons. So what do the big agricultural businesses do? Do they look to the past and embrace the wisdom of those who came before us? No. They create genetically modified plants and contaminate the entire food chain with poorly or virtually untested unnatural food.

If we are to find solutions to the problems we face today—depletion of fossil fuels, world hunger, global warming, clean water, pollution, and more, we need to embrace the wisdom of the past, while we look to the future.

While we at OLM believe that the information itself is accurate, we were immediately skeptical of the idea that Johns Hopkins Hospital would make such “alternative” claims going against everything they stand for…

Recently an email titled, “Cancer Update from John Hopkins Hospital, US – Please Read,” began circulating arond the internet within the alternative health community. In most of these emails the spelling of Johns Hopkins Hospital is spelled incorrectly (“Johns” is spelled “John”).

The email states:

• Every person has cancer cells in the body.
• These cancer Cells do not show up in the standard tests until they have Multiplied to a few billion. When doctors tell cancer patients That there are no more cancer cells in their bodies after treatment it just means the tests are unable to detect the Cancer cells because they have not reached the detectable Size.
• Cancer cells occur between 6 to more than 10 times in a person’s lifetime.
• When the person’s immune system is strong the cancer Cells will be destroyed and prevented from multiplying and Forming tumors.
• When a person has cancer it indicates the person has Nutritional deficiencies. These could be due to genetic, But also to environmental, food and lifestyle factors.
• To overcome the multiple nutritional deficiencies, changing Diet to eat more adequately and healthy, 4-5 times/day And by including supplements will strengthen the immune system.
• Chemotherapy involves poisoning the rapidly-growing cancer cells and also destroys rapidly- growing healthy cells In the bone marrow, gastrointestinal tract etc, and can cause organ damage, like liver, kidneys, heart, lungs etc.
• Radiation while destroying cancer cells also burns, scars and damages healthy cells, tissues and
• organs.
• Initial treatment with chemotherapy and radiation will often reduce tumor size. However prolonged use of Chemotherapy and radiation do not result in more tumor destruction.
• When the body has too much toxic burden from Chemotherapy and radiation the immune system is either compromised or destroyed, hence the person can succumb to various kinds of infections and complications.
• Chemotherapy and radiation can cause cancer cells to mutate and become resistant and difficult to destroy. Surgery can also cause cancer cells to spread to other Sites.
• An effective way to battle cancer is to starve the cancer cells by not feeding it with the foods it needs to multiply.

While we at OLM believe that this information is accurate, we were immediately skeptical of the idea that Johns Hopkins Hospital would make such “alternative” claims going against everything they stand for, and furthermore, we found it doubtful that this would not be much bigger news easily found on main stream sites all over the internet. In addition, there are a lot of mistakes in the email that we doubt such a professional and respected institution would allow to go out to the general public.

The email went on to state:

*CANCER CELLS FEED ON:

• Sugar substitutes like NutraSweet, Equal, Spoonful, etc are made with Aspartame and it is harmful .A better natural substitute Would be Manuka honey or molasses, but only in very small amounts. Table salt has a chemical added to make it white in color. A better alternative is Bragg’s aminos or sea salt.
• Milk causes the body to produce mucus, especially in the Gastro-intestinal tract. Cancer feeds on mucus. By cutting off milk and substituting with unsweetened soy milk cancer cells are being starved.
• Cancer cells thrive in an acid environment. A meat-based diet is acidic and it is best to eat fish, and a little other meat, like chicken. Meat also contains live stock Antibiotics, growth hormones and parasites, which are all harmful, especially to people with cancer.
• A diet made of 80%fresh vegetables and juice, whole grains, seeds, nuts and a little fruits help put the body into an alkaline environment. About 20% can be from cooked food including beans. Fresh vegetable juices provide live Enzymes that are easily absorbed and reach down to cellular levels within 15 minutes to nourish and enhance growth of healthy cells. To obtain live enzymes for building healthy cells try and drink fresh vegetable juice (most vegetables including bean sprouts) and eat some raw Vegetables 2or 3 times a day. Enzymes are destroyed at temperatures of 104degrees F (40 degrees C).
• Avoid coffee, tea, and chocolate, which have high Caffeine Green tea is a better alternative and has cancer fighting properties. Water-best to drink purified water, or filtered, to avoid known toxins and heavy metals in tap water. Distilled water is acidic, avoid it.
• Meat protein is difficult to digest and requires a lot of digestive enzymes. Undigested meat remaining in the intestines becomes putrefied and leads to more toxic buildup.
• Cancer cell walls have a tough protein covering. By refraining from or eating less meat it frees more enzymes To attack the protein walls of cancer cells and allows the body’s killer cells to destroy the cancer cells.
• Some supplements build up the immune system (IP6, Flor-ssence, Essiac, anti-oxidants, vitamins, minerals, EFAs etc.) to enable the bodies own killer cells to destroy cancer cells. Other supplements like vitamin E are known to cause apoptosis, or programmed cell death, the body’s normal method of disposing of damaged, unwanted, or unneeded cells.
• Cancer is a disease of the mind, body, and spirit. A proactive and positive spirit will help the cancer warrior be a survivor. Anger, un-forgiveness and bitterness put the body into a stressful and acidic environment. Learn to have a loving and forgiving spirit. Learn to relax and enjoy life.
• Cancer cells cannot thrive in an oxygenated environment. Exercising daily, and deep breathing help to get more oxygen down to the cellular level. Oxygen therapy is another means employed to destroy cancer cells.
• Noplastic containers in micro.
• Nowater bottles in freezer.
• Noplastic wrap in microwave.

The last half of the email left no doubt in our mind that this email is a hoax. And, much of the advice in the last half, while likely coming from an alternative health care practitioner, is full of half truths and inaccuracies.

When people find out the truth about an email such as this it discredits the whole cause. This makes us wonder if this email was designed to hurt the alternative medicine movement. Either way, it’s pretty sad.